Listen instead:
Ever wonder what people are wondering? I sure do. In answer to that question, I sometimes have a little fun with search engines. I type in an intro query without actually completing the search term. I want to see what suggestions pop up based on what other people have previously searched.
In general, what I find is that we want the search engine oracle to pronounce something good or bad, forever and ever, amen. This applies to all manner of things, and is especially true when it comes to health. We’re obsessed with placing value judgments on every health tactic, routine, and/or food under the sun. We want the magic wand, the silver bullet, the health hack, the shortcut, the easy way, the trapdoor, the smoke, the mirrors, the abracadabra of it all.
Today I’d like to make a case for not hacking up our lives in quest of magic bullets. And how (it probably goes without saying) that relates to Chinese medicine.
The Compounding Difficulty of Aggravated Evasion
Sometimes, running away is 100% a safe, sober, and sane move. But other times, running from something is just running toward it in another aspect of life. Let’s suss these out.
When it comes to predatory behavior, deals with the devil, and imitation vanilla extract, just get yourself away! In these cases, it’s often best to depart forthwith! Doing so may be called “running away,” but it’s the self-preservation type of running. Setting healthy boundaries, declaring no admittance to deal-breaking shenanigans and relationships is not avoidance. It is assertive assurance that you won’t have those things in your life, or at least that you’ll have them a lot less.
So when is running from something the quickest way to get more of that exact thing? When we quit a situation that’s not good for us without dealing with it. Avoiding dealing with deal-breaking shenanigans risks repeating that same pattern.
I’ve made up a term for this type of sustained avoidance; I call it generalized avoidance or aggravated evasion.1 If we go through life solely operating on shortcuts and evasive maneuvers meant to avoid for avoidance’s sake, we lose resiliency, adaptability, and humanity. The more we avoid discomfort, the more uncomfortable it will be, and the more terrifying and derailing discomfort becomes.
The running from/avoidance spectrum shows up all over life, and it cannot be solved by a shower of magic bullets. Chinese medicine talks about such spectra as feedback loops — a dynamic interaction of interdependence. When we allow ourselves to experience life fully without trying to reduce it into tidy silos, we get a lot more out of it, and we’re far less fragile. What can I say? This is just science. You gotta feel it to heal it.
You Gotta Feel It to Heal It
Seeking “magic bullets” as an evasion tactic complicates things for us because following each new trend splits our understanding and learning capacity. IS coffee good? ARE blueberries good? IS weight-bearing exercise good? These questions reveal an assumption that an absolute value of goodness exists. Thinking in such terms is one of the ways we trip ourselves up. Those questions also beg another question: Good for what?
Around 20 years (or so) ago, I attended a small-town solo concert of a now famous musician who was playing his as-yet-unknown-to-the-world originals. When introducing one song, he said something that stuck firmly in my mind. It went along these lines, “This song’s about busted-up friendships: one of those things that’s good for songwriting, and bad for — well — just about everything else.”
Exactly! Good for one thing, bad for another.
If that musician had avoided or buried the discomfort of busted-up friendships — a pain we all experience at some point — he wouldn’t have written that song. Instead, he wrote about it, which not only processed his discomfort, but also turned it into art.2 That’s how art is a healing process: It shows us the stuff of life.
Conclusion
The truth is, the stuff of life is nuanced, influenced by context, and more multi-faceted than many of us would like to believe.
Chinese medicine, however, revels in facets. As such, it excels at treating the individual who shows up in real time. And while health history is important, illuminating, and a strong contributor to any health picture, it’s not a complete predictor of where a person is, or where they’re heading. Aggravated evasiveness, or the absence of it, is a far greater predictor.
Regardless, though, what’s good or bad for any individual is going to vary, depending on lots of things.
Let’s take this back to the coffee question: Coffee might be good for concentration, but bad for the adrenals. The extent to which that matters depends highly upon the individual context. Part of being human is to use our intelligence, awareness, experiences, and relationships to help us discern the context of our lives. There are no true short-cuts or arrivals; the journey is always under our feet.
by Mary Beth Huwe
These writings are an exploration of what it means to be human – to be sick, to be well, and to heal – viewed through the lens of classical Chinese medicine. My words aren’t medical advice, and these essays don’t constitute a practitioner-client relationship. They also aren’t meant to be the final word on… well, anything. Rather, I hope they are the beginning of a conversation you have with someone in your life. Thanks for reading!
Footnotes:
- I have no idea if generalized avoidance is already a recognized term in psychology, but it should be. Goin’ with it. Added aggravated evasion because it has a nice ring to it, and because it demonstrates the dogged premeditated intent of evasion that governs this kind of approach. ↩︎
- Fifteen or so years later, he co-wrote his third number-one hit, a song about the importance of “cry[ing] when it hurts and laugh[ing] when it’s funny.” Pretty solid medical advice, really, and something that seems like an extension of learning what to do with the natural discomforts life brings. ↩︎













